Choose wisely and trust God’s sovereignty if that man has not come along yet. You won’t be sorry! by Shelley Poston
It can be difficult to be clear-headed in a dating relationship. It is easy to see only the positive in the other person and completely ignore any warning signs. Optimism for a relationship can cloud judgment. It would be foolish to date someone and not even consider the possible outcomes. Not only would it be foolish but also would be downright selfish. While you do not have to commit to marrying this person right away, you should realize that any guy-girl relationship you begin has the potential to end in marriage. If there is always that possibility, then you must ask yourself whether this person has the qualities you will need in a husband. You are not being selfish in asking that question. It is important that you do. That is why it is important to consider some warning signs you will look for while dating someone. Watch out for the following red flags.
How does your date cope when things do not go as planned? Does he spew his anger all over everyone, including you? This is a serious red flag. Proverbs 22:24-25 says, “Make no friendship with a man given to anger, nor go with a wrathful man, lest you learn his ways and entangle yourself in a snare.” If you are not to make friendships with angry people, why would you covenant yourself to someone who fits this description? Proverbs makes it clear that you will only be ensnared. Do not expect that you will change that man. You may actually become an enabler who receives the brunt of his anger. Spousal abuse by an angry man does not usually randomly begin fifteen years into a marriage. An angry man has that potential long beforehand. Abuse is not only physical but also can be emotional. A man may apologize to you over and over again, but if he has abused you even once, leave the dating relationship immediately. Do not stay with him out of pity. Encourage him to find a godly man who can help him, but you should get out fast. You are not sent by God to fix him. That is the Holy Spirit’s work.
A man who is unwilling to take counsel shows that he is prideful instead of humble. Proverbs 11:14 says, “Where there is no guidance [counsel], a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety.” A man who seeks counsel is a man who desires to be wise. As Solomon, the wisest man of all, said, “For wisdom is better than jewels, and all that you may desire cannot compare with her”, (Proverbs 8:11). What are his friendships like? Are they foolish or wise? Has he invited accountability into his life from not only his friends but also older and wiser men? A man who does not want counsel and hides from accountability is a man who is not ready to be open with a wife. He may seem strong and independent, but he may actually be prideful. Because of so often “Love is blind” input and counsel from other people around, you will be very helpful to spot positives or negatives in a relationship. Be willing to accept their counsel. All of these points, of course, you should prayerfully consider in your own life. If we as women are unwilling to be above reproach in these areas, why should we expect that from men? If you have just spotted some serious red flags in your dating relationship, seek counsel from wise, confidential people in your church community. But remember, the decision is ultimately up to you. You have to be married to this person till death do you part, and you can choose whether your marriage will help you to grow in serving another believer, or it will pull you down and bring you much sorrow.
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Chances are you are among the massive majority of Christians who rarely or never fast. It’s not because we haven’t read our Bibles or sat under faithful preaching or heard about the power of fasting, or even that we don’t genuinely want to do it. We just never actually get around to putting down the fork.
Did you know that almost six out of ten teens leave the church at some point? Nearly 60% of high school students who grow up going to church will close the doors to a Christian life. And usually, they don't come back (survey by the Barna Group). "Because of people breaking the laws and sin being everywhere, the love in the hearts of many people will become cold." Matthew 24:12
Jose Viana
Author
Jose is the Founder of JesusCentric. He recently celebrated the birth of his first child. He's the Director of Marketing of an agency and an Entrepreneur at heart. Currently residing in South Florida, he attends The Assembly of God, where he was ordained a Deacon. Let's connect: Email: vianajose7@gmail.com Instagram: instagram.com/vianaj7 Twitter: twitter.com/vianaj7